How To Connect With The Women Around You

Have you felt the need to connect with others around you more? Are you lonely, looking for more friends?

I have been an introvert all my life. All through my childhood and teenager years, I was a major introvert. Social gatherings often came with anxiety, and I had only a few close friends. Throughout the years, however, God has changed me bit by bit.

How To Connect With The Women Around You

Some if it I can see coming from my studies: being a speech therapist makes you want to connect with people on a level they are able to do it. You are always seeking ways to better connect with people, to communicate with them better, and to help them communicate with you better. I think God is also changing my heart for ministry’s sake. I am an encourager at heart and I want to help, edify, and encourage those around me. As I am growing more in putting my gift into use, God is giving me a heart that wants to reach out to people and connect with them.

I have found, though, that so many of us women wish that others would want to reach out to us and connect with us. We feel lonely — at home and at church. We feel like we are lacking friendships that build us and encourage us. So we wish and pray that something would happen, yet it rarely does. And I think that is because no one of us is taking the first step in connecting with one another.

So instead of wishing that things would change, that others would change — maybe it is time for us to change? Maybe it is time for us to learn to reach out to others and connect with them?

Tips On How To Connect With Others

Be interested in them.

Some of us are introverts; others are extroverts. That affects our need or desire to communicate and spend time with others. But I am sure that all of us want to spend time with those people who are actually interested in us. So consider this. Why do you want  to connect with this person? Is it so that they would encourage you, help you, admire you or edify you? Or is it because you like this person? Because you want to be friends and learn more about them?

Choose them. 

Pursue a friendship with them: be ready to put time and effort into this person for a season. Be ready to get uncomfortable in pursuing them and asking them to hang out with you time and time again. Someone always has to take the first step; so maybe risk it out and be the person to do that.

However, be wise and gracious in choosing the people. We easily fall into choosing people who are like us — whether it is in age, personality, family situations or work. What if you challenged yourself to choose someone you would not normally choose? Maybe choose an older person to sit down with and have a coffee with them. If you are married, maybe you could choose a single person. If you are an introvert, maybe choose that loud extrovert.

Reach out in small ways.

Depending on our current life circumstances, some of us can honestly be crazy busy right now. I know I will be going into a season of working in a city two hours up north during the weeks, only to drive down home for the weekends to be in ministry. I cannot meet people during the week, simply because I will not be here. But this doesn’t stop me from reaching out in smaller ways.

There are so many small ways you can reach out, that do not take more than 10-15 minutes out of your day. Maybe send a text message to ask how you can pray for them — and then actually pray and tell them what you prayed. You could call them, spending 10-15 minutes just to ask how their day has been and if there is something you can pray for. Send a postcard or a letter to let them know that you’re thinking about them. Send a photo to share something about your day, to let them feel more connected with you.

Ask questions about their life and follow up.

Asking questions can come quite easily to us, especially if the other person is fairly new to us. What do they do with their life? How is their family? When did they get saved? Have they gone to other churches than the current one? What is important, however, is to follow up with some questions. If they share about something where there are concerns, make sure that you keep asking about that matter again. If they share a prayer request, ask if God has answered the prayer.

Questions To Ask To Connect

I started leading a women’s Bible study recently. I know these ladies, I am friends with them. Yet I wanted to know them on a deeper level so that I could connect with them better. So in our first meetings, I asked questions — a lot of them. Ice breakers are great in situations like these. Yet I wanted to ask some difficult questions as well, to truly get to know one another. I, of course, answered these questions myself, and I had not prepared any answers because that would make it quite unnatural.

  1. What is your favorite characteristic of Jesus?
  2. What do others most often misunderstand about you?
  3. How is your devotional time going right now? Do you struggle with Bible study or prayer time?
  4. What do you wish others would do more for you or with you?
  5. Where have you seen God come through for you this week?
  6. How have you grown during the last year?
  7. What is one quality or gift you have that you like?
  8. What theme or topic God is talking to you about in this season?
  9. Is there something you fear that is hard for you to let go?
  10. What are your spiritual gifts?

Do you have any suggestions or ideas for connecting with others? I’d love to hear them! Leave them in a comment below.

Linking up: Monday’s MusingsGood Morning Mondays#MomentsofHopeGlimpses Link Up


Creating Calm in the Center of Crazy

Creating Calm in the Center of Crazy

Creating Calm in the Center of Crazy by Nicole Johnson

Does it feel like you are too busy to even catch a breath? If you have found yourself in the midst of living a crazy busy life, this book might be for you. In Creating Calm in the Center of Crazy, Nicole Johnson shares her story of realizing her life had gone out of control. There was no time even to talk with God. It was then that she started on this journey of creating calm in her life.

In Creating Calm in the Center of Crazy, Nicole Johnson shares her process of discovering the parts of her life that created craziness. She shares about finding the things that helped her to create calm. These are not clear cut ways and steps to take, but rather some practices and disciplines that will help to find calm in the midst of the busy life.

Lately, my life has definitely been filled with some amounts of crazy as I am involved in different ministries and I will be starting my internship in less than a month now. So I was looking for a book that would help me to create calm and be still even now. Yet I found that this book did not really inspire me. There were stories of things that helped Nicole Johnson, yet I did not really find there things that would help me right now that I didn’t already know. I also found myself skimming some parts of the book, as the author did not really keep my attention. All that being said, it could be that you can find this book useful to you if you have found yourself in a situation like this.

See more of my book reviews here.

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. All the opinions here are my own. I was not required to write a positive review.



When God Tells You To Wait

Has God ever told you to wait?

When God Tells You To Wait

My pastor shared from Luke 5 the other day, a message that my weary heart greatly needed. How the fishermen were by the Sea of Galilee, washing their nets when they met with Jesus. They were not catching fish; they were not in the midst of great ministry. Instead, they were in the process of preparing by washing and stretching their nets, to make sure they could keep catching fish with these nets. They were in the midst of the mundane and ordinary when Jesus saw them.

“So it was, as the multitude pressed about Him to hear the word of God, that He stood by the Lake of Gennesaret, and saw two boats standing by the lake; but the fishermen had gone from them and were washing their nets.” (Luke 5:1-2)

I can’t help but wonder, if these fishermen were frustrated and a bit hopeless. They had been out all night, and yet they had not caught any fish. Here they were, washing their nets to prepare to go out again — wondering if they would be able to catch some fish. Wondering if they would be facing failure once again.

That is what waiting often feels like to us — failure. But waiting does not mean failure. Just as it was important for the fishermen to care for their nets so they would not break, it is important for us to go through and grow through waiting seasons so that we are ready for God to use us for His kingdom’s sake.

Why God Tells Us To Wait

Sometimes, it can be difficult for us to see why we would need to wait. We have already been waiting for years — whether it is for a dream to happen, a job, a spouse, health, a baby… We wait, and sometimes the waiting just about breaks our hearts. Our hearts ache when we see others getting the one thing we have prayed for, waited for years now. Every now and then, our hopes get up — only to realize a while later that we are still in the waiting season. It hurts, and it’s hard to explain why.

Oswald Chambers says, “God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we will have patience.”

Our faithfulness is tested with the small things. It is in the washing and stretching of nets, rather than when we are catching fish. It is in the mundane, little things. The things that do not even seem to matter much. That is where our faithfulness is tested. That is where our hearts are tested. Just think of the fishermen. There they were, washing their nets when they met Jesus. They had been fishing all night and had caught nothing. Surely they felt the hurt of shame because of that.

What To Do While You Wait

What do you do when you wait? How do you get through this season of waiting that feels so long?

“When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.” And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.” (Luke 5:4-6)

God makes us in the seasons of waiting. He speaks His truth, until it is weaved into the strings of our hearts. He tests our hearts, our obedience, our trust — and most of the time, this is painful for us. The pressure on our heart and soul is heavy, unrelenting at times. Yet this is where the unnecessary bits are washed away, where our faith is purified.

In the waiting season, remain faithful with the little things. Those everyday things that feel like they matter very little? They actually matter greatly. In choosing obedience now, God is working a beautiful thing in your heart. He is creating that steady faith in your soul, the one that trusts His goodness through all the seasons and circumstances. Before you know it, He is placing you in that boat, your nets breaking because of the great number of fish.

So hold on, friend. Have patience. God is shaping you right now, right in this season — and great things are coming.

Linking up: Glimpses Link UpModest MondayGood Morning Mondays#MomentsofHope Link-UpCoffee For Your HeartWord Filled WednesdayGrace Moments Link-UpWriter WednesdayGrace at HomeTune In Thursday


Daring To Dream

Do you have a dream that you have kept to yourself for quite the while now? That one dream you wish would come true, yet you are not sure if it is what God has meant for you?

Dare to Dream

I carried a dream in the secret folds of my heart for years. Maybe it was a desire more than a dream, a wishful desire that remained throughout the years, though I rarely spoke about it. It wasn’t because I was ashamed of the dream. It was mainly because I was not sure if it was in God’s plan for my life. I wanted to lead a women’s Bible study, to equip women to pursue a better relationship with God.

I knew it was not a bad desire or dream to have, no. But I was not sure if it was what God had purposed for me, a wretched sinner, to do. Maybe you know exactly what I am talking about. Maybe this is the place you have found yourself in, as well. That quiet dream in the folds of your heart, the one you feel with every beat of your heart — but you are afraid to set out to do, in case it is not God’s will. I know that fear, friend. I know it so well.

Don’t Let Fear Freeze Your Dreams

What I have learned during these years, is that it takes courage to dare to dream. Fear so easily takes our hearts captive. It runs through our veins and freezes our hopes before we even have set out to pursue them. And the worst part is, that we let fear do so. We believe the lies that fear whispers to our soul at night. We think we are not worthy of such a dream that is in our hearts. Our past and our past failures define us, before we even try to set out to see if this is what God would have for us.

But that is never the will of God.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)

Our past successes and failures do not matter when we give our lives and our hearts to God. He can use us for His glory, no matter what we have done or where we have been. He can also use others, if we choose to not be part of what He wants to work in our lives and the lives of those around us. God’s glory is not dependant on our skills or talents. Yet, God has given us these beautiful dreams — ones that flourish when we choose to trust God and trust His goodness to us.

Dare To Dream

It has been years since I first dreamed of teaching a women’s Bible study. I have carried this dream with me through so many seasons, the hopeless and hope-filled ones. Now, in this season of changes in life and busy schedules — I sit down with a very small group of girls once every two weeks to study through the book of Ruth. I think we are still a long way off from seeing whether this will bring forth any fruit. Yet I can see that my heart is changing, that this dream has finally come to life, carried by the prayers I prayed over the years, the hopeless and hope-filled ones.

Friend, God has given you this dream for a reason. Whether it is for you to do at some point, or to join someone else’s ministry in prayer — God has given it to you for a reason. It might be that this dream needs to be covered in prayer for years, in the quietness of your heart. Or it might be that all it needs is surrendering to God, both your heart and your life.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

Linking up: Coffee For Your HeartWord Filled WednesdayWise Woman Linkup