Category: Relationships

How To Connect With The Women Around You

Have you felt the need to connect with others around you more? Are you lonely, looking for more friends?

I have been an introvert all my life. All through my childhood and teenager years, I was a major introvert. Social gatherings often came with anxiety, and I had only a few close friends. Throughout the years, however, God has changed me bit by bit.

How To Connect With The Women Around You

Some if it I can see coming from my studies: being a speech therapist makes you want to connect with people on a level they are able to do it. You are always seeking ways to better connect with people, to communicate with them better, and to help them communicate with you better. I think God is also changing my heart for ministry’s sake. I am an encourager at heart and I want to help, edify, and encourage those around me. As I am growing more in putting my gift into use, God is giving me a heart that wants to reach out to people and connect with them.

I have found, though, that so many of us women wish that others would want to reach out to us and connect with us. We feel lonely — at home and at church. We feel like we are lacking friendships that build us and encourage us. So we wish and pray that something would happen, yet it rarely does. And I think that is because no one of us is taking the first step in connecting with one another.

So instead of wishing that things would change, that others would change — maybe it is time for us to change? Maybe it is time for us to learn to reach out to others and connect with them?

Tips On How To Connect With Others

Be interested in them.

Some of us are introverts; others are extroverts. That affects our need or desire to communicate and spend time with others. But I am sure that all of us want to spend time with those people who are actually interested in us. So consider this. Why do you want  to connect with this person? Is it so that they would encourage you, help you, admire you or edify you? Or is it because you like this person? Because you want to be friends and learn more about them?

Choose them. 

Pursue a friendship with them: be ready to put time and effort into this person for a season. Be ready to get uncomfortable in pursuing them and asking them to hang out with you time and time again. Someone always has to take the first step; so maybe risk it out and be the person to do that.

However, be wise and gracious in choosing the people. We easily fall into choosing people who are like us — whether it is in age, personality, family situations or work. What if you challenged yourself to choose someone you would not normally choose? Maybe choose an older person to sit down with and have a coffee with them. If you are married, maybe you could choose a single person. If you are an introvert, maybe choose that loud extrovert.

Reach out in small ways.

Depending on our current life circumstances, some of us can honestly be crazy busy right now. I know I will be going into a season of working in a city two hours up north during the weeks, only to drive down home for the weekends to be in ministry. I cannot meet people during the week, simply because I will not be here. But this doesn’t stop me from reaching out in smaller ways.

There are so many small ways you can reach out, that do not take more than 10-15 minutes out of your day. Maybe send a text message to ask how you can pray for them — and then actually pray and tell them what you prayed. You could call them, spending 10-15 minutes just to ask how their day has been and if there is something you can pray for. Send a postcard or a letter to let them know that you’re thinking about them. Send a photo to share something about your day, to let them feel more connected with you.

Ask questions about their life and follow up.

Asking questions can come quite easily to us, especially if the other person is fairly new to us. What do they do with their life? How is their family? When did they get saved? Have they gone to other churches than the current one? What is important, however, is to follow up with some questions. If they share about something where there are concerns, make sure that you keep asking about that matter again. If they share a prayer request, ask if God has answered the prayer.

Questions To Ask To Connect

I started leading a women’s Bible study recently. I know these ladies, I am friends with them. Yet I wanted to know them on a deeper level so that I could connect with them better. So in our first meetings, I asked questions — a lot of them. Ice breakers are great in situations like these. Yet I wanted to ask some difficult questions as well, to truly get to know one another. I, of course, answered these questions myself, and I had not prepared any answers because that would make it quite unnatural.

  1. What is your favorite characteristic of Jesus?
  2. What do others most often misunderstand about you?
  3. How is your devotional time going right now? Do you struggle with Bible study or prayer time?
  4. What do you wish others would do more for you or with you?
  5. Where have you seen God come through for you this week?
  6. How have you grown during the last year?
  7. What is one quality or gift you have that you like?
  8. What theme or topic God is talking to you about in this season?
  9. Is there something you fear that is hard for you to let go?
  10. What are your spiritual gifts?

Do you have any suggestions or ideas for connecting with others? I’d love to hear them! Leave them in a comment below.

Linking up: Monday’s MusingsGood Morning Mondays#MomentsofHopeGlimpses Link Up


How Do You Get Over Heartbreak?

How do you get over heartbreak? This is something I have been wondering, for a while now.

It never gets easier, looking into a pair of eyes that hold the world of hurt, betrayal, anger or shame. The way that confusion ripples through the waves of sorrow, the way that every heartbeat echoes with rawness — it breaks my heart right into two because no heart should ever have to ache like this. Dear friend, your heart should never feel like this. I hope I could carry your pain for you; but that is not that way of life. Yet I know that after all has burned down, after it has all turned into nothing but ashes, the Lord will make something beautiful out of it.

get over heartbreak

I have been thinking about this a lot today because I my heart wants tell you two things: you only get through heartbreak with Jesus and in all honestly, I am not sure if you ever will get totally over this heartbreak. Not in this world, that is.

There will be a time when your heart won’t be defined by this brokenness anymore, when the hurt won’t constantly echo empty in your heart. There will be a time when all of this will be a sharp piercing randomly rising only now and then, in the midst of the everyday — when your heart remembers the deep wounds that used to be and how deep they cut once.

There will be a time when beauty takes over brokenness, these pieces of your heart becoming new and beautiful as you draw closer to the heart of your Savior, He who suffered and bled for you. There will be a time when joy fills your heart, when there is hope that flows over your cup and fills your life with life. Dear friend, your heart is being molded into its purposed use even now — though I know it does not feel like that, not one bit. There will be scar tissue, different now then the raw skin of your heart — this skin that is not as vulnerable or sensitive to the hurts of life.

It will still hurt, the breaking of your heart. I think it always will. But at the same time, I know God is making something beautiful out of this. There is something glorious being created here: a story rising from the ashes, that tells of the immense power and the radical grace of our Savior. There is purpose being woven into the strings of your soul, now in deeper shades colored with hurt and sorrow, these hues in colors that create a different poem now, one that is full of beauty and glory.

And I know, in the midst of the confusion that seems to muddle everything there is always the question that rises up in the darkest of the nights, when the tears stream down and the hurt expands in your chest — why. Why do I have to go through this? Why didn’t this work? Why?

But the one answer I know on how to get over heartbreak, beloved? Is to go to Jesus.

Tell Him what hurts and how much it hurts. Tell him about the betrayal, the loss that feels greater than life. Tell him about the fog of confusion you are walking in, desperate to find out which way you should walk and how your heart hurts.

Then let go. Let go of the parts that hurt and leave them at His feet. Give Him your heart and trust that your heart will eventually become something so much greater, so much more beautiful in His hands. Take the next step and fight the hurting memories the moment they enter your mind. Pray about your sleepless nights. Cry over the broken dreams, the future planned that fell apart.

He knows heartbreak, beloved. He knows how it hurts. His gentle, scarred hands can hold a fragile heart. He will make something new.

Linking up: Glimpses Link UpModest MondayGood Morning MondaysMonday’s Musings#MomentsofHopeCoffee For Your HeartWord Filled Wednesday, Christian Blogger Link Up, Wise Woman Linkup

To The Girl Waiting For The Right Guy

Waiting For The Right Guy

Girl, I know it is hard to wait. I know it is so hard to face rejection after rejection and the fear of never finding the right guy. But the right guy is worth waiting for. Stop settling for guys who do not wholeheartedly follow Jesus. Stop dating guys who are “good” but do not follow Jesus, who do not bring you closer to Him.

If a guy does not follow Jesus, he cannot love you right.

He can treat you great but if he has no desire to grow closer to Jesus, he will not be good to you in the long run. If he does not believe in Jesus, you should not be dating him at all. Yes, he might be okay with you being a believer but if he is not one, he will not be able to encourage you or challenge you or call you out when you sin. He might be okay with your faith now but he will also be okay with your sin.

You do not want that, dear friend. You want someone who challenges you to correct your ways. Someone who reads the Bible with you, grows closer to Jesus with you, and prays with you and for you.

Friend, f you find yourself saying “I know he is not (perfect/patient/humble/faithful/growing closer to Jesus) right now but it will get better” – please, don’t believe yourself. You are worth more than that. You are worthy of a guy who honors you and respects you above all else. You are worthy of a guy who will challenge himself to become better so that he can love you right — right now, not in the future.

Because you will do just the same for the right guy. You will see your flaws and you will want to grow, become better so that you will love him rightly. You will give him your heart, your time, your everything – just to be with him and to make him happy.

You were not created to be married, you were created to honor Jesus and to fellowship with Him. 

Girl, singleness is not a curse. You are not single because God does not love your or because He is punishing you. So it might be that it will take weeks, months or even years before the right guy comes along. But that is because God wants to use you as you are right now for His glory. Please, don’t rush the process. See what God has for you in this season of singleness and make the most of serving Him, as you have freedom with your life and with your time right now. You can do amazing things, and you do not need a guy to do all that.

Dear one, your heart is so beautiful as it is already now. Root and establish yourself in God’s Word and how He sees you — and do not let relationships define you. Your singleness is not a sign of unworthiness or failure. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made, and the Lord is using this season to make and mold your heart.

Linking up: Glimpses Link UpModest MondayGood Morning Mondays#MomentsofHope#UNITE Link PartyCoffee For Your HeartWord Filled WednesdayWise Woman LinkupCoffee and Conversation, Christian Blogger Link Up, #GraceMoments Link UpGrace at Home#HeartEncouragementFaith on Fire Link Up#DanceWithJesus Link UpFaith Filled Friday, Grace & Truth