In a season of busyness, God has given me the gift of four hours every week. Two hours every Friday, two hours every Sunday in my car.
On Fridays, those two hours stretch endlessly before me as everything in me is longing to be home already. Home can never come soon enough. It is a silent longing inside of me, one that I don’t necessarily even notice during the week. But on the way home, to what I know is good and comfortable – I notice it.
I have been thinking about the gift of these two hours on Fridays. How I have been reminded that this is the way we all live while we are still here on earth. We live, we take our residence here – but we do not belong. Our home is not here. There is that little something, in the way we breathe more freely and it feels like our hearts expand when we are in the presence of the Lord. That, is our reminder of our home in heaven. Our days are clouded with darkness here and there. Some seasons we seem to walk through the valley. Other seasons, we are only reminded of the darkness when we see our shadows fall behind us. Still we know, we need more light. This is good and comfortable; but there is something better waiting.
On Sundays, I spend those two hours in awe. Home, family, church family and fellowship – these are all things that fill my heart in ways I cannot describe. Safe, secure, loved; always beyond what I deserve. I drive, my mind on the sermon and the ways God is changing my heart right now. Am I happy with how much I love these people of mine right now? How can I reach out? How can I love them better?
I look at the beautiful scenery of the countryside, the beauty of God often leaving me with a heart leaping with joy. I am a failure; I know I do not deserve this. Yet God has poured out His love and grace. His love is expanding before me in the wheat fields turning gold, in the leaves slowly taking on yellow and orange as autumn season falls upon us. There is something in the way the golden sun graciously, gently turns this scenery into art. I cannot help but wonder, how He does the same with my heart. This little heart of mine, so messy and mundane – yet He wants it. Like He wants yours. Did you know that? He wants your heart. He thinks it is beautiful.
These are such mundane things, these two hours every Friday and every Sunday. I drive because I want to be somewhere else, because I need to be somewhere else. This is the season of life God has me in: doing an internship two hours up north. I go sometimes with a grudging heart because I have a hard time not attending church twice a week. I even cried over it just the other day. But I am growing, as different and hard as this season is for me.
“Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness.” (Psalm 107:8-9)