How do you get over heartbreak? This is something I have been wondering, for a while now.
It never gets easier, looking into a pair of eyes that hold the world of hurt, betrayal, anger or shame. The way that confusion ripples through the waves of sorrow, the way that every heartbeat echoes with rawness — it breaks my heart right into two because no heart should ever have to ache like this. Dear friend, your heart should never feel like this. I hope I could carry your pain for you; but that is not that way of life. Yet I know that after all has burned down, after it has all turned into nothing but ashes, the Lord will make something beautiful out of it.
I have been thinking about this a lot today because I my heart wants tell you two things: you only get through heartbreak with Jesus and in all honestly, I am not sure if you ever will get totally over this heartbreak. Not in this world, that is.
There will be a time when your heart won’t be defined by this brokenness anymore, when the hurt won’t constantly echo empty in your heart. There will be a time when all of this will be a sharp piercing randomly rising only now and then, in the midst of the everyday — when your heart remembers the deep wounds that used to be and how deep they cut once.
There will be a time when beauty takes over brokenness, these pieces of your heart becoming new and beautiful as you draw closer to the heart of your Savior, He who suffered and bled for you. There will be a time when joy fills your heart, when there is hope that flows over your cup and fills your life with life. Dear friend, your heart is being molded into its purposed use even now — though I know it does not feel like that, not one bit. There will be scar tissue, different now then the raw skin of your heart — this skin that is not as vulnerable or sensitive to the hurts of life.
It will still hurt, the breaking of your heart. I think it always will. But at the same time, I know God is making something beautiful out of this. There is something glorious being created here: a story rising from the ashes, that tells of the immense power and the radical grace of our Savior. There is purpose being woven into the strings of your soul, now in deeper shades colored with hurt and sorrow, these hues in colors that create a different poem now, one that is full of beauty and glory.
And I know, in the midst of the confusion that seems to muddle everything there is always the question that rises up in the darkest of the nights, when the tears stream down and the hurt expands in your chest — why. Why do I have to go through this? Why didn’t this work? Why?
But the one answer I know on how to get over heartbreak, beloved? Is to go to Jesus.
Tell Him what hurts and how much it hurts. Tell him about the betrayal, the loss that feels greater than life. Tell him about the fog of confusion you are walking in, desperate to find out which way you should walk and how your heart hurts.
Then let go. Let go of the parts that hurt and leave them at His feet. Give Him your heart and trust that your heart will eventually become something so much greater, so much more beautiful in His hands. Take the next step and fight the hurting memories the moment they enter your mind. Pray about your sleepless nights. Cry over the broken dreams, the future planned that fell apart.
He knows heartbreak, beloved. He knows how it hurts. His gentle, scarred hands can hold a fragile heart. He will make something new.