Are you a perfectionist? Do you struggle with perfection?
I sure do. Well, I would say more that I am a recovering perfectionist, learning to accept my weaknesses. More than that, I am learning to see that this process of growing can actually be incredibly beautiful. The process in itself often doesn’t feel beautiful, and rarely does it look beautiful. But considering what is actually going on behind the process?
See, our weaknesses and failings are really just making a canvas for God to paint a miraculous art over it. After all, it is in our weaknesses where His power finds its full expression. He makes beauty out of ashes, and brings forth blooming flowers where once there was only soil.
“Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
I wonder sometimes if this craving for perfection that is settled in my soul, is really a remnant of Eden. There once was perfection, this creation that God called very good — but it is no more. I have been born in sin with a sinful nature, on this cursed ground that once hummed perfection’s notes. And just maybe? There is a remnant left woven into the strings of my soul. Could it be that maybe this struggle against perfection? Isn’t all pride but somewhere in there, there is a yearning. A yearning for something that doesn’t exist here anymore.
My struggle isn’t so much with trying to be perfect. I struggle more with being okay that I am not perfect. But just like I wrote last week, there is always enough grace. For this moment and for the next. For when I fall and fail; but also when I finally take a baby step forward. Those are the moments where we see His grace and power the best. Because not only are we forgiven, but He takes us further. Always.
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6)
So I am finding that there can be comfort in this struggle. I yearn to be perfect, knowing fully well I won’t be. But that tells me there is something better still to come. It tells me of the day when I will be with Jesus, finally complete. What a glorious day that will be. But until then? I get to witness this glorious process of God working in and through me. That in itself is quite the miracle.