I sit there right next to her, this aging woman turned gray and insecure, when her question stills me to the core.
“You think I am stupid, do you not?”
— and suddenly, there are not enough words to tell her no, to tell her that never should anyone be thought stupid for something like this. Because losing your memory means just that: you are losing your memory, those parts that were gathered over the years and it is losing pieces of yourself, forever lost now.
But then I realize, that this is the reaction of my soul as well — because how often do I remember that I have forgotten, these majestic words of God that touched my heart and shook my soul, only to forget their meaning, their purpose a little while later. How often do my eyes open, to see glory of God shine bright through His work amongst His creation and yet, a moment later all I see is darkness descending. Soul amnesia, these moments quickly forgotten and my soul suffers, the habit of forgetting seeming to spread.
“Now therefore, write down this song for yourselves, and teach it to the children of Israel; put it in their mouths, that this song may be a witness for Me against the children of Israel... Then it shall be, when many evils and troubles have come upon them, that this song will testify against them as a witness; for it will not be forgotten in the mouths of their descendants, for I know the inclination of their behavior today, even before I have brought them to the land of which I swore to give them.” (Deuteronomy 31:19,21)
Yet, I am always reminded — that even the skies tell the story of God, His forgiving grace painted in the pastel colors and His glory brilliant like the rays of sunlight reflecting on top of snow. It is always I who need my eyes opened, the love of our God encompassing His creation all around me and I need His Song written down for myself, the echo of my soul spelled there for my eyes to see, for my heart to brave believe.
Brave is never the motto of my heart, never the simple echo but rather the hard choice, this sacrifice of praise taking all that I have — because murmuring grows right there in my core, a branch needing constant pruning and sometimes pruning these branches, is like cutting off strings of my soul.
But there is always an answer, for the stubborn soul and for the hurting — a way for us all to face the future brave-hearted, to hold our hands open and wait for the good we know is coming. “Write down,” is the answer of our Lord, to us blind and doubting, to us tired and struggling. So this year, this day — a heart plays brave and responds, writes down and records the miracles and the mistakes, the moments of grace and gratitude. Because the way we leave a legacy, make our way into a history of sorts. Is by changing our hearts first, lining up with what we know is true and right. These moments jotted down one after another, we witness a great miracle right there: the changing of a mess into ministry, of pain into purpose.
Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.” (Habakkuk 2:2)
Daily journaling ideas:
- Three things you are grateful for.
- What has God spoken to your heart today?
- What Scripture has He given you today?
- Prayer requests of your heart or given to you — and the answer when it comes.
- Precious memories of the day.
Weekly journaling ideas:
- Is there anything you wish you would have done differently this week? How would you do it different?
- What was your biggest fear this week?
- What worries are you carrying?
- Where did you see God’s love / God working this week?
- Describe the happiest moment of the week.
- How did you grow in your relationship with the Lord this week?
Linking up: Titus 2 Tuesday, Monday’s Musings