I know, beloved — you never thought it would hurt this much to see someone walk away; that the sight of someone turning away could pierce your soul so deep, break into pieces this hope you carried within your heart. How tracking a trail of steps could make your heart weigh heavier than stone, this world a burden on your shoulders and weak knees.
I know, beloved — how you never knew it could be this hard to keep going; to know where to place that dull ache that grips your soul, how to speak words that carry light rather than the grief washing over in waves. That losing someone could so break your heart and most of all, leave you without any idea of how to put that heart back together. How seeing your grip on someone sliding would make you feel like you have now lost all there is.
“Now, therefore,” says the Lord, “Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm. (Joel 2:12-13)
But remember this, my friend. When the grief takes over. When the hurt pierces hard and deep. When you are at the end of your rope and that knot is slipping from your trembling hands, and now, all is gone — there, remember, my friend. That in those moments when comes the pictures of a back turned to you, of those steps away? When the indescribable sorrow comes in waves and steals your thoughts?
You are not alone.
Just maybe we do forget it time to time, though the words slip easily from our mouths every day and yet — sometimes we forget. That He truly is our Father in heaven, our Father who gave up His own Son to save our wretched soul. He is our Father, who watched His Son hang on the cross, carrying our sin and shame, forsaken, just so that He could be with us.
But most of all, He is our Father who watches His children walk away every single day — and certainly He knows this heartbreak better than we do. Because it is only Love incomprehensible that sees the wickedness in our hearts and calls for us, wanting to wash us clean time and time again. It is only Love incomprehensible that forgives time and time again, as we walk away knowing full well we are doing it. It is only Love incomprehensible that has His heart broken over His children every moment, and yet suffers long that we might repent and return.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.” (Hebrews 11:1,3)
He knows, beloved. He knows just how many raw wounds this has left behind, losing someone so dear and so close. He knows just how much they hurt, these wounds bleeding and gaping open. He knows what it feels like to start the process of healing, only to be broken and crushed once again. He knows, and He carries it all in His hands. You are not alone.
Linking up: Titus 2 Tuesday, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, Coffee For Your Heart, Word Filled Wednesday, WholeHearted Wednesday, Coffee and Conversation, Works For Me Wednesday, From House to Home, Shine Blog Hop, Grace at Home, Everyday Jesus, Grace & Truth, Faith Filled Friday, Dance With Jesus