“What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.” (Psalm 84:5-7 NLT)
It took a week and several hard nights, many failures, crying alone in the dark, giving up a thousand times, stretching further than I ever wanted to stretch myself, and a batch of perfectly baked cinnamon rolls — for me to come to the place where I finally faced the reality with an honest but less than a brave heart: sometimes, this life is too much for me. Sometimes, I am not enough.
Admitting this, my friend, wrecks me — because I do not want you to know that I am not enough. I do not want you to know that I should be more than I am. But it is true.
These days, life is busier than I would like it to be and I notice myself forgetting — that the grace of God is right here, in this moment. I cannot help but wonder, when did we take on the assumption that we should expect only perfection from ourselves? When did we decide that failure is never acceptable, that His grace is not enough for us? When did we start measuring ourselves with being enough, doing enough?
Because the truth is, you are not enough. You never have been, and you will never be. But you are loved by a God — and He is your strength, He makes you able.
“Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
For You have delivered my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
And my feet from falling.
I will walk before the Lord
In the land of the living.” (Psalm 116:7-9)
My friend, you are a beloved child of God. You are so loved. You are loved by your Maker, who has woven together the strings of your soul and He has made you beautiful, just as you are. He is bigger than any storm you are facing right now, bigger than any mountain in front of you. His heart is breaking alongside your heart. He is not disappointed in you. He is never disappointed in you. He knows the things you have done, the things you did not say and the things that went just plain wrong — and it is okay.
That is why He sent His beloved Son, bending down from Heaven to meet with us here, right where we are.
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)
You will still fail, beloved. I will, too. Oh, so many times. But these failures never define you, nor do you need to let them define you. Let go of what is holding you back; let go of what is hindering you from coming to your Father.
You can choose grace instead of angry or mean words. You can put away the pills, the drugs, the drinks, the blade, the websites you should never be visiting. You can go back to church. You can say, “Please forgive me,” and reconcile. You can call your Mom and say you are sorry. You can let go of your ex, of the people breaking your heart. You can call your sister, your friend and ask them to hang out with you.
See, the thing is? Not one of these things define you. You have not been deemed unworthy, you have not been labelled as complete failure. You are already more than enough because you have a perfect Maker, who only creates beautiful things. He can make beauty out of ashes, yet once more.
It’s okay to breathe again, beloved. You are enough in Jesus. It will be alright.
Linking up: From House to Home, Grace at Home, Faith Filled Friday, Grace & Truth, Good Morning Mondays, Monday’s Musings, Modest Monday, Christian Blogger Linkup, An Ornament of Grace, Coffee For Your Heart, Tell His Story, Coffee and Conversation, Word Filled Wednesday, Works For Me Wednesday, Wise Woman Linkup